Leave Room in the Margin for Family

Written by Calvonia Radford, 6/20/2019

There was a day when life was less chaotic. Businesses closed on weekends, allowing family time and worship. Families gathered at the dinner table, conversing over current events. This is where girls became ladies and boys transitioned into men. They were literally mentored around that kitchen table.

In 1948, when the government started keeping track, Americans worked an average of 42.8 hours a week. Today we average 38.7, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics’. Yet, we the generation who work fewer hours than our predecessors have created a default response when asked how we are doing: ‘Busy!’ ‘So busy.’ ‘Crazy busy.’ 

According to Merriam-Webster the word busy is defined as being engaged in activity, full of distracting detail.

The staff at Merriam-Webster must have been gazing through a telescope at our distracting electronic devices. Surely they peaked over our shoulders at our various calendar modes and noticed a void of empty spaces.

It’s a fact. We are busy. Over engaged in activities and distracted to the point of no return.

Busyness, the new status symbol has satisfied our pursuit for self-worth while draining the energy we would have devoted to our loved ones.

“Busyness makes you forget about your most prized possessions in this life.” Taylor Thompson

Harry Chapin’s 1974 release, Cats in the Cradle paints a vivid picture of our society’s misplaced priorities. His lyrics portrayed an overworked father who put work above spending time with his son and later his son had no time for his dad. And the cycle begins.

Some people only have a surface relationship with their grandparents.  Cousins don’t play together as much as before and honestly, some families have to sacrifice so much just to make it to the holiday gathering.

Paul addressed busyness in his words to the church at Ephesus.

“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.” Ephesians 5:15-16

His solution to their dilemma transfers so succinctly to contemporary breaches of family connection. He may as well have been speaking to us when he employed them to enjoy the pleasures of the moment.

Reasons why you should leave room for family

God ordained family – Genesis 2:23-24

When Adam had finished his first assignment, naming all the animals and grooming the garden God put him to sleep. When Adam woke up he found Eve, the gift God handcrafted for him. This was the beginning of the family. God said it is not good for man to be alone. I believe God is reminding us today how unhealthy it is for us to be alone. It is still His desire for families to be together.

Tomorrow is not promised – James 4:13-14

Have you ever read an obituary or listened to the family reflections at a funeral? If so, you have discovered that no one has anything bad to say about their loved one. All the comments are praiseworthy. Why? Because whatever happened or didn’t happen doesn’t matter when they’re gone.

It would be wonderful if we knew how much time we had left with our loved ones. Then we could visit more frequently, call more often and savor each moment with them. Unfortunately, we don’t get warnings. We think we have forever and all of a sudden they slip away. It’s too late.

You reap what you sow – Galatians 6:7-9

Oh! This one isn’t going down easy. We choke on the words. They’re bitter to the taste buds but just like castor oil they will rid our system of toxins and we will function better afterward.

Reaping and sowing is a principle of cause and effect. The results are always the same, never changing.

If we could get a glimpse into our future we could see our family and friends coming around just as often or infrequently as we did when we were younger. As my grandparents used to say, “What goes around, comes around”.

It’s never too late to make a change. If those people who mean the world to you are still in this world leave room for them in the margin.

Pick up that phone, send that thinking of you card or stop by for a little while. Those moments when we could have gleaned wisdom from our elders or poured into the lives of those much younger are fleeting. When they are gone, they are gone. We can’t push reverse and recreate missed time. Yet we will find when we squeeze others into our calendar God will pack some unexpected blessings in our lives.

Let’s walk it out:

1. Commit to prioritizing family accurately. If life’s busyness has pushed them down the list, be intentional about restoring them to their proper place.
2. Identify ways you can stay in contact with loved ones. Remember quality is much more important than quantity. My grandmother used to make popcorn visits lasting approximately 15 minutes and on to the next house, she went. This is how she ministered to the sick and shut in. You can find some great tips on being fully present here. 

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It’s Time for Some Spiritual Spring Cleaning

written by Calvonia Radford, 4/18/2018

A 2013 Statista survey of US citizens reports 72 percent of respondents do annual spring-cleaning. Most of us will be blowing the dust off our cleaning products, and rolling up our sleeves to clean.

I have a love/hate relationship with spring-cleaning.  I love the finished product but hate to acknowledge the condition my house is in due to my winter cluttering.

Am I the only one who gradually neglects to put stuff back where it belongs and accumulates unnecessary piles of something in just about every room?

Now my piles are neatly hidden behind closed doors. My house looks pretty good at face value but if you open those closet doors or look under the bed, do it at your own risk.

God Calls It Like He Sees It

God addressed his chosen people and compared the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah. Can you imagine? It would be like your best friend telling you your house looks like a Hoarders Buried Alive episode.

And then he told them their unsolicited sacrifices were making him nauseous. Isaiah 1:10 Ouch!

These people had allowed their spiritual houses to become so cluttered and unclean the Lord refused to look at them. He said, when you come near me to pray, I’m going to turn my head the other way and I will put my fingers in my ears when you pray. Isaiah 1:16

“God loves you just the way you are, but He refuses to leave you that way. He wants you to be just like Jesus. ”

― Max Lucado

God Points the Way Out of Our Sinful Condition

Wash you, make you clean; put away the evil of your doings from before mine eyes; cease to do evil; Isaiah 1:16

Wash- Clean up your act

God instructs us to cleanse our mind of any dirty thoughts made unclean by the filth we have exposed ourselves to. These thoughts have led to detestable/unhealthy behavior leaving nasty stains on our spiritual bed covers. So compels us to wash and freshen our minds from the stagnant smell of winter.

Warning: This requires spiritual warfare.  It’s not a quick and easy clean. You have to use spiritual elbow strength.

“Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; “II Corinthians 10:5

Remove- Sweep your lives clean of your evildoings

When we come to the knowledge of God through his son Jesus Christ, we are called to a higher standard. We can be like a pig returning to his mud hole. Our call is to scrub off the ungodly and replace those behaviors with righteousness. Spiritual cobwebs lurking in the corners of the house and dust bunnies under the bed must go. Move the furniture, wash the curtains, strip and wax the floors until the house looks and smells brand new.  Ephesians 4:20 – 32

Do not forget the closets. The places where we have neatly placed the memories of past hurt and abuse into bins to pull out as needed. They will not be of any use today. They are mildewed. They stink because we have kept them too long. Throw them out.  We can do it.  Come on, let it go!!!!!!

Stop- Just say No to wrong and learn to do good.

Now the spiritual house is clean, we have to maintain it. We can’t keep eating in the living room and expect never to spill anything on the carpet. Really!

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Unknown

There is one thing left to do. Stage the house, HGTV style, adding the finishing touches. No budget necessary. Why do you ask? Because Jesus paid it all on Calvary.  That makes me laugh with glee.

“Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” II Timothy 2:15

Pillows in place? Wall art or framed photos? Regardless of our taste in style, we can do it. Study the word and soon our spiritual houses will be Pinterest ready? Let’s lay out the welcome mat and open the front door for guests.

Time to address the invitations!

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Know Your Name!

Written by Calvonia Radford 1/29/2018

It’s so fun watching my two-year-old granddaughter grow.  It seems she gets taller before my very eyes and every time I’m with her, she uses new vocabulary words.  Recently she started speaking in full sentences, so we enjoy holding short conversations with her.

I was eavesdropping on a one-on-one she was having with her Pappa this weekend when I heard him refer to her as a baby. This spunky toddler responded confidently and with a quickness with these words,

“I’m not baby, I’m Moziya!”.

She didn’t stammer or stutter. There was no hesitation in her voice nor stumbling in her stance. She positioned herself with confidence in her minimal knowledge and spoke with clarity. Even though her arsenal of knowledge was limited, she knew what she knew.

We are children of God. Reborn on the day we accepted Christ work on the cross and made that confession of faith in him. (Romans 10:9) In some ways, we too are toddlers. Growing taller before God’s very eyes.

The more we spend time with God, building an intimate relationship, our spiritual vocabulary increases.  We speak less world speak and more God speak. Yet, we tend to answer to names that don’t represent who we are. We are Christian.

Maybe you sang this children’s song,

I am a C, I am a CH, I am a CHRISTIAN. And I have CHRIST in my HEART and I will LIVE ETERNALLY.

Christian, is much more than lyrics to a song.  It is our new name, our identity. We must become just as confident in that identity as my granddaughter is in her name.

“I am not baby, I am Moziya!”.

Oxford dictionary describes Confidence as the state of feeling certain about the truth of something.

My dear sister, we must be confident. We must feel certain about the truth of who we are.

Remember who you are. We are daughters of the Most High God!        

We must know that we know we know who we are and whose we are!  When God saved us from our sins, he adopted us (Ephesians 1:5) and made us joint heirs with his son (Romans 8:17). We are indeed his daughters.

“But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name:” John 1:12 NKJV

Position yourself with Confidence

We must tap into the confidence that only comes through Christ and take a bold stance. Remember, he has our backs.

“in whom we have boldness and access with confidence through faith in Him.” Ephesians 3:12

Speak what you know with clarity

Finally, open your mouth and declare the truth. You know your name.  Refuse to answer to anything else. More importantly, let your actions speak louder than your words.  The world will believe you are a Christian when they see your Christ-like behavior. Act like you know who you are.

“A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, And a word spoken in due season, how good it is!” Proverbs 15:23

We as women, for the most part, are vocal. If you’re like me the more confident you are in the subject matter, the more animated and louder you get. There are women in our sphere of influence that need to hear our confession.  If we don’t speak, they may never know!