Preacher’s kids walk on a thin line between love and hate.
On one side of that line they are blessed by so many loving and caring believers. These brothers and sisters take them in just like their own. They form meaningful relationships with the children treating them like family. They love them unconditionally giving them permission to fail. And when they fail, these sweet saints are there to pick them up, dust them off and give them a big dose of encouragement.
These are the committed Christians who are serving faithfully and welcome the presence of the pastor’s kids. They coach them and counsel them when necessary. They invest in their lives expecting great things from them.
In contrast there are some church folk who make a PKs life miserable. They hold them to unrealistic expectations. They share their faults and failures with anyone who will listen. Their hurtful comments and disrespect are hard to forget. These are the ones who intentionally vent and complain about the pastor with his children in earshot of them. They pour criticism and negativity into the lives of these children until it breeds resentment, bitterness and callousness toward God’s people and his church.
This blog is not meant to paint a grim picture of the church. My family has been blessed. We have so many stories in our archive of church members who blessed us and our children that books wouldn’t be able to contain them. At the same time, we have some journal entries that are tear stained. Etched in our brains are some distasteful memories. Those are the actions that concern me.
I am a firm believer that when people make negative deposits into the PKs emotional bank, they are not aware of the lasting damage they have caused. They were just saying what they were saying.
Studies show otherwise. Many children of pastors can’t seem to shake those comments, ridicule, looks of disgust etc. Some view the church as a group of judgmental hypocrites. Others were wounded in the war we call ministry and have chosen not to ever return. What an indictment on God’s church.
Think about the preacher’s children you know. Are they currently serving the Lord or have they wandered far away from his church? If they are wandering, please don’t talk about them. Pray for them. They need it more than you will ever know.